Be Firm to Be Kind
Published by GHC • Oct 4th, 2008 • Category: Riding Advice, by MadelainaBy Madelaina, age 13
“Be firm to be kind.”
The first time I heard my instructor utter those words I was baffled. For one thing, I don’t consider a person who’s bossy nice. For another, I doubted horses thought so either. It is logical thinking that if a person’s sitting on your back and digging their heels into you like crazy you wouldn’t like it. But of course, I of all horse girls know you can never stop learning about horses.
I remember that lesson clearly. The bay I was riding was stubborn and disliked moving…a lot. You’d often have to kick him a few times to get him moving, and a few times more to get the trot, which normally only goes for a few beats before he returns to the walk again.
So that day, I was introduced to the crop. I always believed in relying on my natural aids (seat, legs, hands and voice) as I thought the main point about horse riding was to communicate with your horse, without needing a crop, whip or spurs. With the crop I didn’t need as much leg, and I hated to be lazy and let my lesson horse win the strength battle.
I had no choice though. My instructor told me to use my leg aids first, and then the crop when he doesn’t respond. It was an “ask, tell, make” concept. As it turned out, it only got to “tell”. With my instructor constantly reminding me to be strong with my horse, I didn’t really need the crop much once I got him going with it. Soon through careful coordination of leg pressure and gentle crop-flicking (even though my instructor told me to be stronger with it), my horse stopped being reluctant to move forward. I learnt how to be firm to be kind, as now my horse and I have less trouble when trotting or cantering because I’ve been strong with him in the first place.
I never knew horse riding consisted of so many different concepts. And that lesson I learnt a new one. It comes to show that not all force is harmful to a horse, it is only when you’re careless that you hurt them.
It’s true. Very true. I have heard my mom say that once or twice, but I never really listened to her when she did say it. You just refreshed my memory.
Wonderful blog. You were born to be a writer.
mustangmane
It’s sad when you see a big horse taking advantage of a person who doesn’t know what they’re doing. This is great advice.
wonderful story i have my own horse Keesha and she is a beautiful bay quarter horse.My mom taught me the same lesson she said to be firm and kind and now i cant Get Keesha going from a slow walk to a fast gallop WOOOHOOO hee hee i take Keesha out for rides all the time every morning and it is just a joy!
I just learned to be firm but kind with horses. It was really tough at first because i didn`t want to hurt them. of course it wouldn`t hurt them, but it was just hard for me. I don`t know if that was the same for you, i finally did it though, and it is so much easier than fighting the horse every few minutes
Great advice! So many people think that being nice and leting things slide means the horse will be perfect in return. Sadly, they could’nt be more wrong.
You did a wonderful job, Madelaina!
great blog. this well put together and sometimes the crop is useful, but never use it before using leg as this is bad!! also if what you were doing with the crop worked your instructor was wrong to tell you to work harder with it.
Thanks very much everyone for your comments.
Horselover: Yes, I am always very gentle with the horses I ride, simply because I didn’t want to be overly forceful with them. It just requires some time to determine the amount of firmness you need when you ride each horse. But I’ve learnt a lot more about being strong with horses.
ponygalmaddy: What you said was definitely right. When I said “gentle crop-flicking”, I meant that as after I got him excited and forward with harder signals. Thank you for pointing that out and sorry for any misunderstandings.
Very nice, Madelaina. Your are defanitely (<Sorry I don’t know how to spell that word!) right. It is very true. My instructor says, ask twice, and if he still doesn’t listen, than use the crop on his neck. Not hard, but not so soft he couldn’t feel it. Then if he didn’t listen to the crop on his neck, do it behind my leg. Do you ride english or western? I ride english. But this is very true. Your very descriptive and it taught me a lesson! Thanks for posting this! =)
Lauren
Wow, you’ve really done it with this one!
I like the way you speak and explain things, Madelaina. :]
Congrats on the featured blog!
Lauren: Thanks. I ride English, and I hope that my horse wouldn’t need as many aids as you described. That would be so tiring if you were doing dressage in your lesson.
Haha it would be tiring. We don’t do jumping quite yet as I would like it too because this is mostly a western barn but its closest and cheapest. I wish we could do jumping, but we do lots of flatwork right now. Sometimes our instructor sets up a little pole or so but that is usually about it. There is a new ppony at the abrn so the horse I rode is usually really lazy and you have to use a crop, but he was a lot faster and I didn’t need the crop because he was really excited about the new pony! But no we don’t do dressage! Again thanks for posting thsi! :)
My riding instructor says that there are 5 steps to get a horse going 1.Squeeze lightly 2.Squeeze harder 3.light kick 4 hard kick 5.Crop on the neck She says to start going SQUEEZE LIGHTLY if that doesnt work SQUEEZE HARDER if that doesnt get him to move LIGHT KICK if that doesnt work you will use the CROP ON HIS NECK. the uppercase letters are the steps!
-Mia Age:9 comment:I ride english style and have already won blue ribbons in jumping!!!
i skipped a step on the uppercase letters sorry
this is so true i hear it every where and every lesson even though i’ve been to multiple barns and had multiple trainers nicely done
hey there. i agree with what you have said in your blog.
Im new here and i was wondering if anyone can help me and show me how to use this site.
thanks
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