The Wild Mustang – Chapter 1
Published by GHC • Aug 13th, 2009 • Category: Fictionby Violet Inkpen, age 13
CHAPTER 1
The whole valley was flooded. The band of wild ponies tried to get out of the wettest part, but they didn’t want to leave their valley. The lead mare took a long look at the place then decided they had to move.
She couldn’t take them North to the mountains or they would freeze. It wasn’t yet spring and the mountains were the coldest place. She had to go south, to the high hills where the band of spotted ponies lives. They would have to try to avoid the herd.
Giving a loud call to alert the herd she began moving towards the rushing waters in the valley. They’d have to cross the once dry land to get to safety. She pressed her foal close to her side.
The herd leader came up to her. “Tess, we can’t go that way. If we run into my brother, Renegade, he’ll take the entire herd. I could never beat him in a fight.” Wilderness said, stomping a hoof in the water that was up to his knees.
“We have no choice.” Tess shouted over the wind. “We’ll go east.”
Wilderness shouted back, “No, there are worse things east, you know that.”
Tess blinked. Her foal, Star, shivered in the icy rain. Wilderness stared at her, water from his bangs dripping into his eyes. Finally he tossed it off his face and nodded. “Lead us there then. I’ll bring up the rear.” He turned around and began herding his mares to follow the lead mare.
Tess lowered her head to the wind to shelter her baby and moved forward, her mane blowing back over her neck. The water was up to Star’s chest, causing the filly to struggle. Tess encouraged her the best she could but it seemed useless.
The band was made up of Tess, Star, Candy and her yearling son Rocket, Emity and her two-month daughter Patience, and a five-year-old mare called Gypsy. Wilderness was a proud leader, despite being small and unable to beat his bigger brother. He was a fierce fighter and many times had saved the herd from mountain lions and other dangers.
Gypsy moaned. “It is so cold,” she whimpered.
Emity snorted, narrowing her eyes to the rain that was whipping against the horses. “My foal will die!” she cried.
Tess had to move the band. It was slow going, however, and they wouldn’t be out of the flooded valley for another five miles. Wilderness tried to drive his mares faster but no one wanted to go racing into the deep water. It was freezing.
Star and Patience had to start swimming. Neither was a strong swimmer and many times they went with the current, floating away. It took the whole herd to keep them together. Finally they all had to swim.
Tess was nervous in the murky water. Anything could happen. Wilderness was calling out encouragement. Tess looked down at her foal. Star was tiring. They all were. Thunder roared and lightening split the sky. The horses rolled their eyes white and fought the water, increasing their pace. The foals whinnied and tried to keep up. Tess no longer saw Star. She was trying to fight with something that was tangling her legs. She flipped over and went under, her legs up in the air. A piece of trash from the humans was tangled around her legs. Gypsy helped her flip over again and untangle her legs. Tess began swimming again.
It felt endless but finally her hooves brushed land. She pulled herself up on the bank and shook water from her coat. The herd followed.
“Patience!” Emity called, frantic.
Tess looked to her side and shock washed over her. “Star! Star! Star!” she screamed.
Wilderness looked around. “We have to find them!” Tess shouted.
“We can’t in this weather. Be logical Tess, we have to wait until morning. We’ll never see them, smell them, or even hear them in this water. And it is too cold.” he said.
“They could freeze to death!” Emity screamed. “Please Wilderness, let me look…”
Wilderness cut her off. “No, we’ll rest here for the night. In the morning we’ll find them. There is some shelter over there, let’s go.”
Wilderness led them to a small place where rocks offered a sort of shelter against the storm. The horses all pressed together, trying to keep warm.
All the mothers could think of was their precious foals out in the cold.


I feel so sorry for the foals and their mothers, thankfully I only have to wait another day to read the next chapter. I don’t think I could’ve waited any longer. You’ve described everything perfectly; the storm is so terrifying and the struggle across the water so vivid. Already I’m in love with this story, brilliant job with it Violet! You are truly a star writer.
Champion chapter vi!! i cannot wait to read the next section!!! I noticed alot in your stories You seem to like the idea of telling the horse’s side of the story by giving them diologue. That is realllyyy neat
~HF
Thank you girls. I love telling the horse’s side of the story, it is the side less told.
Wow, thats a very good one.
Awesome story! Can’t wait until tomorrow. And yeah, I also like it when you give a horse’s point of view.
~Michelle
This is one amazing story! I can’t wait to read the rest of it, I’m already impatient to see what happens to the herd! You are an incredible writer Violet. And I love that there’s a horse named Gypsy :-)
Hey Violet Inkpen, the story I’m entering in the fic comp. is a bit like yours, and one of the horses is named Star. I did not mean to copy you, would you mind if I entered it?
Michelle, sometimes we need to know what the horse is thinking as well as the human. Sometime I may do a story involving both points of view, switching from human to horse just so everyone can understand what the horse and human can’t. The horse won’t know why the human acts like this and the human won’t know why the horse is afraid of that but you’ll all know because you’ll see both sides of the story. It is more interesting for the reader that way.
Agreed, definitely more interesting. Two years ago when I first got into horses I always wrote some story from a horse’s point of view, usually a herd. But now I’m trying to vary a bit more :)
~Michelle
It is more interesting for the reader knowing both points of veiw,espically the horse’s side! Keep up the wonderful writing!:]
Wow! What I have missed! Why didn’t anyone tell me what was going on? ;) I like to write from first-person, too, but I can’t do it from a horse’s point of view. I just can’t. I don’t know why, but you make it work, Vi!
Wow, I just love reading your stories. I like the way you write with the different point of views.
Hi,Vi your such a good story writer i wish i could be just like you at telling stories your really good:-)
Very touching.
poor foals ponies and horses!
I love it! You really feel for all the horses. Keep up the good work!