The World According to MissyPublished by GHC • Jul 12th, 2011 • Category: Fiction
by Millie, age 12 and Missy, age 2
Missy, my skewbald Appaloosa x Cob x Thoroughbred (?) two year-old filly, has decided to put hoof to very scary paper and tell you guys about the world through her eyes…
Today, Mummy decided to scare me by putting my feed bucket into a ‘plastic bag.’ It was really windy and the ‘bag’ kept flapping around. I was soooo scared, but I couldn’t stop eating my food so I just had to keep giving the ‘bag’ dragon snorts and rolly eyes to make sure it didn’t get me. Mummy was very proud of me and decided to make it even scarier by giving me a licky thing in my stable, but tied the ‘bag’ outside so it flapped and would try to eat me! I hate her sometimes, but it was worth it for the lick and extra food and, of course, smelling like garlic and slobbering everywhere.
Mouse tried to eat me today. Again. Mouse is a big Thoroughbred mare who Mummy rides, and she’s normally nice to me, but she wasn’t today. It started to rain, which was fine for me because before Mummy got me I lived out all winter without a rug, but Mouse hates the rain and got grumpy. She was OK to start with, then the rain got harder and I hid up behind her bum. She didn’t like it…
Mummy tried to put a metal thingy in my mouth today. I didn’t like it. It was yucky and made me bite my tongue. She made me eat my tea with it in and I looked like a GOH (grumpy old horse, basically Mouse, in my opinion) because all the feed went everywhere.
Mummy took me for a walk today! We went past the Neglect-imals (some poor neglected horses who nobody can do anything to help), down past the forest, and up to the ‘Silage Bales.’ I think they’re just big green things who hide nasty creatures who might eat me, so I don’t go too near them. Then we went back, and I’m proud to say, I tore Mummy’s arm out of its socket a few times (probably)!
Mummy gave me a hugemongous brush today. I think she’s planning something.
Mummy tried to bathe me today. Obviously, I disagreed with her plans and moved around a lot. Then the heat got too hot for little old me and I fell asleep while she sponged buckets of water onto me. It was nice in the end, but I’m not going to tell her that.
Today was my day off. Finally. I just stood in my stable all day and fell asleep, whilst being devoured by flies. I don’t like that fly spray stuff Mummy tries to put on. It’s in a green ‘bottle’ and is very scary. Anyway, I got turned out later and ran around a bit, then decided to eat some grass before Mouse could…
Missy is currently out of paper which won’t attack her; until we can get more, she will have to wait to write her diary / dramatic life story.