by Syd, age 12

Dealing with the loss of an equine friend or partner can be hard. Believe me I’ve experienced it first hand!

It all happened at my old lesson barn to an old school horse named Brandon. Old Brandon was my favorite horse of all time and always will be no matter how flashy and fast and good of a jumper the next horse is. It will always be Brandon for me! He was a liver chestnut Arabian gelding and he lived to the ripe old age of 31! I rode him for about two years in my three and a half years of lessons at Hollywood Hill Equestrian Center. My trainer retired him at the age of 30 so he got a well-deserved year of rest before he passed on. Brandon was always a trooper and overcame things most younger horses couldn’t. So when he did die it just hit the barn like WHOA — what happened? The last two months of his life he was sick… really sick. His pee was brown, he coughed every minute, had a runny nose and no appetite. My favorite horse was a miserable sight. We tried everything — frequent vet calls, treats, occasional brushing, mild exercise — even extra grain didn’t work! The worst part was I never got to say good-bye.

So I’m here to give you some ideas about how to cope with the loss of an equine friend.

BEFORE THE TRAGEDY: How to prepare or make it easier when it happens.

When your favorite horse or pony is getting old or sick, start paying attention more. Come to the barn more often to spend time with him. Maybe it will perk up your horsey friend! If the medical and vet bills are too much for the owner or your trainer (if it’s a lesson horse) maybe get some of your riding friends together and set up a fund raiser. Bring extra treats to help your favorite pony feel loved.

If you know it’s too late and there’s not much more time or hope, then come in any of your spare time so you have a better chance of being there in the last moments. Maybe start to plan a little funeral for your equine friend. And above all, every time you’re with him make sure to express how much you love him, and right before you leave say good bye so you won’t regret it later like I did.

DURING THE TRAGEDY: How to make those last few moments special and last a lifetime.

What should you do in those last couple of moments to make them last a lifetime? First of all, take as many pictures as you can with a camera, cell phone, etc. Maybe draw or paint a picture of that favorite horse. And don’t forget to take video — that always makes those last few moments worthwhile.

Try not to have a bunch of people there so your favorite pony’s last memories of the world are THE BEST. Just keep talking to your horse friend, letting her know everything is going to be all right and they’re going to be in a better place soon. And keep reminding her how much you love her and she’ll always be in your heart. Oh and don’t forget to let other people that are close to that horse have their sweet last moments too. Then maybe right when she’s about to go you can all gather around for one last group hug.

AFTER THE TRAGEDY: How to cope with those first few dark days.

Do things to remember that horse. Like I said earlier, you can set up a funeral. You can make a little keepsake box with some of that pony’s mane/tail, pictures, and other things to remember him by. Occasionally call up a friend who was also close to the same horse and talk about memories and other good things so you’ll never forget him. Also maybe every year on that horse’s birthday (if you know it) or the anniversary of his death you could get together a group of people and have a little “party” to celebrate his life.

When trying to cope with the loss, the first thing to remember is IT’S OK TO CRY! No one is going to laugh at you if they understand the situation. Now that doesn’t mean go tell the world, but if someone asks, tell them. If they’re nice and understanding they won’t mind. Believe me, the next day at school after Brandon died I cried like crazy the first half hour of class, and I cried every night for about a month. Also try remembering the good times or always have a picture handy if you feel like you need to look and at your beloved horse friend. And here’s a really wild idea — you could try to track down one of that horse’s relatives and buy or lease him/her (or convince your trainer to!).

I hope you enjoyed my piece and found it helpful if you’ve had to experience the same pain I did. If you haven’t experienced that pain, I hope you will remember some of these things so when it does happen you’ll be ready.

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